The Lost Blog/Top 10 Holes

Holy shit. I just wrote a hole days entry (quite a long one at that) then pressed Ctrl + B to make something bold, and it all disappeared. How d'ya like that? Chamone.

OK, so I've been out all day after the disaster of losing my blog entry earlier. I toyed with the idea of writing it all over again, but I really couldn't be bothered. Maybe it was fate or something that meant you guys weren't supposed to read about all the craziness that happened to me yesterday. Anyway, luckily I have a back-up plan, which is The Top Ten All Time Holes in the World (of All Time). Here we go...

10. The Hole in My Bucket. Poor old Liza must have tired of hearing about this one, but any hole that makes a sea shanty has to be a good one.
9. Hole - this is a rock band I believe, featuring the druggie hag Courtney Love. They probably sold lots of records due to her Kurt Cobain connection, alas I fear they were actually gash.
8. The hole in your trouser pocket. We all get them. Quite how I'll never know. Maybe its too much pocket billiards, but there's nothing quite like the sensation of a 20p coin sliding down your trouser leg onto the floor via aforementioned hole.
7. The A-Hole. Quite simply you'd be up shit creek without these holes, but please only use them for the function they were designed for.
6. A Hole in One. In the sporting context, this hole cannot be surpassed. I'm proud to say that I have achieved this most elusive of feats, and yes it was witnessed. However, I must defer to my pa on this one, as he achieved an even greater sporting rarity. He managed to hit a hole in 1 on the day of a total solar eclipse. Now that doesn't happen very often. Nice one Dad.
5. The mouth. What a great hole. Multifunctional, practical and full of interesting stuff like teeth and taste buds. Also contains the tongue, under-rated male sexual weapon, if used correctly. Mmmmm.
4. Black holes. The mystical and misunderstood member of the hole family. No-one really knows whether these cosmic holes are what they claim to be, but if they are, then there's a good case for bumping them up the charts.
3. The Grand Canyon. This is the Big Daddy of all holes. There is no hole on this planet that can compare with the size and scale of this monster cavity. Hopefully I'll get the chance to have a close encounter with this grandiose bredren on my trip - it'll be a kind of pilgrimage.
2. Ladies bits. This hole is my personal favourite. A true pleasure dome and possibly compelling evidence of the existence of a divine creator. Luckil there's plenty of em to go around, although for some reason there are people around who still prefer #7. Ah well, all the more for us. Show us yer muff!!
1. The Hole in the Ozone Layer. In terms of global impact this baby has to get the top spot. This is a bad hole, so if it crosses your path be sure to give it a wide berth. This hole is so big that I think it might take centuries of hard work to repair. I'm pretty sure that the Bush administration is still in denial of its existence.

So there you have it, my definitive countdown of hole greatness. I'd be very interested to hear if you agree or disagree with my selections, so why not post a comment to let me know your stance. In the meantime, stay lucky and look out for piles. The pile is the sworn enemy of the hole and is not to be trusted, no matter how alluring.

In the words of the great Two Ronnays...
Its goodbye from me, and its goodbye from him.