No Drama; Beard Karma

'Beard Karma' is a term coined by Christopher Luntley of Lemington Spa. It refers to a peculiar phenomenom whereby an equal balance of facial hair is maintained within a circle of friends (typically male) through an unknown, possibly supernatural force. In other words, within any given group of friends, a constant quantity of 'beardiness' is sustained without collusion or prior knowledge. It is a proven example of Newton's Third Law of Motion, that "every action has an equal and opposite reaction". Thus, when one member of the circle removes (or shaves) his beard, another member will aquire (or grow) a beard, thereby maintaining the equilibrium of 'beardiness'. Case in point: recently I (Alan) grew a beard for the first time. Simultaneously, Jake (a member of the same circle of friends as I) removed his own long-standing goatee beard (via the commonly used shaving method). This is 'beard karma' in action. It is therefore to be expected that as Jake re-grows his ginger goatee (which is inevitable) either myself, or Chris will remove our beards to retain the beard equilibrium. Similarly, should Obi carry out his threat and grow a beard to match his new found CEO status, Chris or I will find our beards removed. We have no issues with Niko as he is unable to grow any kind of beard (a situation unlikely to change without the intervention of hormonal treatment).

As you can tell by this in depth analysis, there's nowt much goin down right now. Still jus chillin in Chicago, successfully saving precious quids and avoiding the deep freeze outside. In the past few days I have walked every square inch of downtown Chicago and taken a gazillion photos (largely experimental). My quest for culture has once again seen me thwarted by museums that are over-priced, closed, impossible to find or simply not even built yet (that one made me feel a little silly) but I have managed to attend an excellent poetry evening and seen 2 films (including Harry Potter, which in all honesty I found a little disappointing). Rich culture I'm sure you'll agree. So all in all, I will fly to Washington for my US Thanksgiving experience tomorrow thoroughly refreshed in all departments. I think I deserve a big pat on the back.

In keeping with the principles of 'beard karma', I will balance this email out by returning to the subject of beards for closure. I know my beard is the burning issue in most of your hearts right now, so I'll provide you with a much-needed update as to its progress. After letting him (I assume all beards are male?) run free from the fear of the evil triple-blades for roughly six weeks, 'Mad'Mach3 was unleashed yesterday. I felt the need to smarten myself up for the family Thanksgiving I'm attending and as the visual evidence below proves, the runaway full face beard was having an adverse affect on my state of mind...

I did not want to undo all the hard work of the past month and a half completely, so I opted for a styled goatee/sideburns look. Again, you can judge for yourself, but I believe the resultant style could be bracketed in the French poet/jazz musician category. With a bit more work on the length it could just make it to modern-day muskateer status.

Oh you girls (and Niko) really don't know what you're missing! Ithangyoo.