Fruit & Vegetables

Strange things are afoot - New York is under attack. Giant orange vegetables have invaded The Big Apple. I witnessed this bizarre phenomenon with my own eyes today while wandering around Central Park. The villainous vegetables were sprouting up all over the park and attaching themselves to innocent New Yorkers, whose only crime was to be going about their Saturday afternoon business on a brisk autumn day. I was shocked and appalled that a city as advanced as this could give in so easily to the onslaught of an evil foe - I thought they were made of sterner stuff, but I was wrong. Not only have they passed undetected through the scrutiny of the Dept of Homeland Security, but they have conned the natives to believing they hold strange and mystical powers. The people here seem to hold a special reverence for their new spherical friends, almost to the point of worship. I think it will come to a head on Monday night, when they will hold a huge parade in honour of the invading force.

Aside from inexplicable vegetable devotion, New York seems a pretty cool place so far. All I've seen so far is the area immediately around the place I'm staying, which includes Central Park. Once again, I'm very lucky to be staying in a brilliant place with some exceptionally nice people. Louise is an E&Y girl who started with me in London, but transferred out here to NY a couple of years ago. She and her fiance Alan have a fantastic appartment in the Midtown area (64th and West End Ave for anyone who knows the city) and they have welcomed me in with a comfy bed, some tasty Alsatian white wine and use of their laundry facility (which was very very necessary after my 2 weeks on the road - all I can say is recycled under-garments). Tomorrow I'm gonna move on from this place to stay with Brian, a capoeira buddy from Austin, who works in NY from time to time. We're gonna check out a capoeira roda (game) at the school of Joao Grande - one of the oldest living masters, then a Brazilian night at a club. Should be fun!

I arrived back in the States yesterday having spent 2 days in Montreal. I wish I'd spent more time there. From the brief stay I really liked what I saw. Its a very unique place that seemed to blend many of the best aspects of Europe and North America. I hesitate to pass conclusive judgement as I had so little time there, but it definitely gave off good vibes. The French thing was fun and I managed to renew my on-off relationship with the French language. I managed a few enforced run-ins with French-only speakers and even conversed (in a manner of sorts) with a genuine French girl (from Lyon). Her English was worse than my French, I was a bit pissed and my head was full of the Portuguese I've been teaching myself, so the conversation was rather muddled, but fun. I made a few 'single serving' friendships (a la Edward Norton in Fight Club) at the hostel in Montreal, the most entertaining of whom was Eric. He was an ER doctor from Philly who was in town to play while his wife was away. He told me that his colleagues called him Tigger and it was not tough to see why. This was one hyperactive guy, and he was funny, interesting and very friendly to boot. The two Aussie demi-morons who had also befriended me didn't rate Eric, but this was only as they believed that he cramped their style (this 'style' was a figment of their imagination).

On my final night in Montreal I visited a capoeira group I'd found on the internet to do a class with them. They were really friendly in a way that reminded me a lot of the Kabula crew in London. Unfortunately I'm a bit out of shape having not exercised much while I've been away and I lasted less than one hour of what was a pretty tough class. My legs still ache two days later! After the capoeira, I had a pretty funny night out with some guys from the hostel, including Eric, Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee (the Aussies) and a fairly quiet German girl called Catherine who was in town to do her masters in neurological science. We ended up in a pretty decent club, which went drastically up in my estimation when the teen-rock anthems were unexpectedly replaced by some mean jungle. It was just like being in Fabric. Poor old Catherine seemed pretty bemused by the whole experience. I'm not sure if it was Eric's 'child entertainer on speed' randomness or the boozed-fuelled Aussie twits who spent the evening practically forcing the poor girl to down pints. The last thing I remember seeing is the Catherine being carried across a street in a fireman's lift over-the-shoulder position by one of the rampaging antipodean love-machines. They really are a credit to their country. Thank goodness so many of them are travelling the world.

I will go back to Montreal to assess if my initial hunch of its goodness is deserved. In fact I will definitely be going back to many more places in Canada. After 3 weeks travelling the width of this big, friendly giant of a country it has left a hugely positive impression on me. I kept thinking to myself as I was in Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal that I could see myself living there. There is something very likeable about the country and especially its people. The winter weather is a bit of a bugger, but I reckon I could live with it. I whole-heartedly recommend you check it out.

But Canada has now gone and I'm back in the land that Bush rules for the next few weeks. The poor lad's having a bit of a tough time right now. You can almost taste the sympathy.

Over and out.